Yes, six hours sounds overly excessive but…it’s unfortunately pretty accurate. Shaving about three times to make sure you get every hair, freshly done manicure and pedicure, making a run to Victoria Secret to purchase a hot lace matching bra and panty set, styling one’s hair, picking out an outfit to go on top of that lingerie…six hours doesn’t sound exaggerated now, does it? The undying question is: is all this preparation even necessary? Men’s Health and
womenshealthmag.com applaud us for the tremendous effort, but their studies suggest maybe we’re putting in too much care. Rewind to why I hold off on sex as much as possible: my boyfriend called me earlier this week inviting me over to his place (aka let’s sex it up). I missed him dearly and wanted to see him but didn’t say yes right away. I recall when we initially started dating, he eagerly shared to me that he always wanted to have sex in the elevator of his house and he wanted me to come over in my robe, lingerie and heels and he’d be blindfolded. I can’t do all of that quite yet…why? Cause he thinks so highly of me…I want to minimize the opportunity of him seeing my body in a certain angle that’s unappealing…until I am more content with myself. I’m well-aware that sharing some sort of insecurity in bed and having physical flaws is highly common. I’d be silly if I classified myself as overweight…but I have a long way to go until I feel comfortable having sex. I’m not one too sit and cry my insecurities away so I’ve already lost 10 pounds in a month. However, these thighs still need a lot of slimming, my abs need to be more tight, my arms less flimsy, my cheeks less puffy, my calves much smaller, etc. I’m already tall so I want that whole skinny model look with big boobs. Am I being irrational for holding off sex until I feel a lot more content with my body? Even if I lose weight, there’s still bruises and scars on my body that I make a BIG effort to shield away daily. Is this a never ending cycle of me being overly-critical of myself? Does my boyfriend see me in as critical of a light as I see myself? The undying question is: What do men notice during sex? Cosmopolitan.com shares that: “…apparently guys are so happy that they’re getting laid, they never notice our so-called problem areas. Experts swear these don’t even register with them.” But one of my closest male friends says: “Oh I definitely analyze almost every part of her body during sex.” Well, which one rules more for the majority? sex1 Womenshealthmag.com’s Clint Carter writes a detailed description of what’s vital to men during sex: 1) Are you taking some sort of initiative? Men are begging the female species to not act like road kill. Not taking any action yields a sense of disinterest. Show excitement! Tease him like crazy by modeling your hottest undergarments with a pair of hot heels, get on top of him and take the work off his shoulders for a bit, ask him what’s one of his sexual fantasies and make an effort to make one come to life! 2) How soft and smooth does your skin feel? My boyfriend definitely notices this. I ALWAYS have to shave numerous of times RIGHT before I see him with a new blade and a lot of shaving cream. One day, he took note that my skin felt a lot softer than it normally did (assuming it was the lotion I put on). 3) How is your body moving? “If you’re stiff, it puts a chill on the moment. We wonder if there’s a problem or if you’re feeling self-conscious. But if you’re revved up and sensual, that turns us on. We want to feel your body writhe against us. We want your chest to press against ours, to feel your thigh slide up between ours. The more you engage your entire body in the moment, the more we feel like you’re excited to be with us.” 4) What lingerie are you wearing? Don’t wear granny panties. Make sure your undergarments fit you well and have some sort of sex appeal. Just because it’s coming off doesn’t mean you should get lazy with it! Onto another note, what does he notice about my body from various positions? ” If it’s doggy then, yeah, we’re taking stock of your a**. If it’s missionary, it’s all about the boobs. If it’s cowgirl, then, we’re going to take your midsection more into account but still it’ll mostly be about your boobs. Archer? Well, we’re more worried about falling…How much men notice the less-firm parts all depends on how into the sex he is. If he’s hot and heavy then he probably couldn’t care one iota. If he’s not in the moment, as it were, he might be surveying your body during. All depends on the guy and the level of intensity,” writes collegecandy.com Women: do you possess insecurities associated with your body’s participation during ex? Men: is this research accurate or what would you say otherwise?